Lofoten, Norway, September, 2016

The Northern Lights from our Reine Cabin

The Scandinavia trip is now complete with an incredible bucket-list-satisfying return to Norway. Highlights include going to a tiny town at Europe's most northern point, seeing magnificent fjords from land and sea, surfing north of the Arctic Circle, and exploring the amazing Lofoten Island chain.

I returned to Norway by flying from Sweden to Kirkenes which is at the intersection of Norway, Finland, and Russia at 71 degrees North. Things get weird at the poles, so the town is actually east of St. Petersburg, Russia, but in the same time zone as Spain. Its latitude is the same as Barrow, Alaska which is the northernmost point of Alaska. Needless to say, it is a tiny frozen little town that is 3,000 km (the distance between New York to Miami) miles from the southern end of this deceptively large country.

Reine in the daytime, our cabin was the red one on the right.

When I landed in Kirkenes I went to the hotel restaurant but they only served reindeer based dishes. Not wanting to eat ‘The Santa Special’ I wandered the one street town for a more vegetarian solution. There was a tiny pizzeria that was still open so I bundled up and trudged to its glowing lights. While waiting at the counter to order, a woman asked enthusiastically from behind me if I like to couples dance. I thought it weird, but followed her to a warehouse next door. 

Hurtigruten near Europe's most northern point

Instead of harvesting my kidneys, which seemed like the most likely outcome, I was taken to a dance studio where 12 people were teaching either other to dance. I was told the pizza place would deliver my food when it was ready, but in the meantime I had to dance with the natives. Not how I expected the evening to turn out, but it was a super fun twist in the road.

Magnificent Lofoten

I jumped on the Hurtigruten ship the next day to wander down the northwestern coast of Norway. Originally a mail delivery ship, this cruise is primarily frequented by European octogenarians napping from recliners and dozing off while looking out the window. My preferred perch was on the top of the ship shivering in the arctic winds trying to commune with impossibly beautiful and unspoiled lands I will likely see but once in my life. I was on the ship for 2.5 days. The highlight was being woken up by a ship-wide announcement in the middle of the night that the aurora borealis (Northern Lights) were happening, and if you want to see it, you better run to the deck. I jumped out of bed, put my pants on backwards and hopped/stumbled up to see the planet’s most beautiful natural fireworks from the open Arctic seas.

I disembarked in the Lofoten Islands and met up with Matt who was also traveling in the region. We went to Reine - which may be one of the most picturesque hamlets in the world. We sat on our cabin deck and stared at the magnificent mountains ensconcing the fairytale town and took short boat trips to the surrounding fjords. We were treated to an amazing clear-skies Aurora Borealis, this time I had my pants on correctly and had a camera so I was able to capture a little of its glory.

If only I had more thumbs I would be more enthusiastic about this hike.

We drove around and hiked the outdoor dreamscape for a week. Some of Lofoten was so beautiful that we just burst into laughter when we saw it. Drives that should have taken 1 hour turned into 5 hour trips when the 1000 photos per hour were included.

Being idiots, we decided to try our hands at surfing way north of the arctic circle. We rented a cabin overlooking a rugged beach in Unstad. When the rains and gale force winds died down long enough to consider going outside, we donned 6mm full wetsuits, complete with booties, gloves, and hoods, and paddled out towards our icy doom. Terror and neoprene kept me warm enough to try and catch a few waves while Matt shredded nearby.

Our tiny surf village in Unstad. Those little dots are the 50 houses that constitute the whole town.

I fly back to the states on the Sept 27th to visit Boston, Austin, and my parents in San Antonio. I'll be back in California Oct 7th. After 2 months away from home, it will be great to see old friends again.

:) Tony with Matt McFalls

Matt McFalls preparing to battle the Artic Circle Surf!

Sweden, September, 2016

Beautiful Old Town Stockholm

Greetings from the medieval walled city of Visby on the Swedish island of Gotland!

When I last posted I was in Bergen, Norway getting ready to go to the fjords, however, when a storm front rolled in, I fled to sunny Sweden.

The sunset outside the walled city of Visby

Art pen of me on Gustav's plane

I started my Swedish trip with a bang with the amazing generosity of Gustav.  He and I first met at the school of the world (SOTW) surfing camp in Jaco, Costa Rica almost two years ago.  When he saw I was near on Facebook, he offered to take me flying to the Swedish countryside on a four seat plane.  How could anyone refuse that invite???

Bikes on the honor system on a remote island

Gustav picked me up at 8am and informed me that I was the navigator for the trip, primarily because I was occupying the seat that he normally rested his maps on.  The preflight instructions were “learn how to unlatch the door in case we crash, wear this life preserver in case we end up in a lake, and don’t touch the foot pedals or we will die.”  He failed to mention to put my phone in airplane mode, but I was suitably terrified to do it on my own.

We flew to a tiny island of Visingsö on a tiny lake named Vättern.  The flight started with fuel visibly spilling out to the left wing just after takeoff.  Gustav informed me this should not be a problem.  Not really knowing what to do at this point, I confirmed my phone was in airplane mode.

Cycling the island with Gustav

When we approached the tiny island, Gustav asked if I could see the windsock at the airport.  I replied no, because I did not even see the airport.  He proceeded to land, and I realized why I did not see the sock.  It turns out the ‘airport’ was really just a grassy stretch on the coast.  When Gustav says, let's go to the countryside … he really means it!

Visby self portrait on the outer wall while cycling

On the island, we jumped on bikes that were parked next to a field with a painted sign of 20 crowns per day, which is around $2.  We road around white picket fences and frolicking horses.  At one point Gustav walked into a barn, talked to a local, and returned with 4 apples.  This place is a strait out of a movie fantasy sequence.

Upon our safe return to land, I began my exploration of Stockholm.  The weather was blue skies and 65F (18C).  This time of year, it should have been cold and rainy, but I hit the jackpot during my four day stay.

The highpoint of my visit to this gorgeous capital was of course the ABBA museum.  I have been whistling disco hits ever since.

On Visby I rented a bike and rode around the ancient walled city.  My life was in ruins and I could not be happier.

The opening view at the amazing ABBA museum

Stavanger, Norway

What are fjords for (when no one listens any more)

Fearing troll-atacks at all times, Sebastian and I, along with a few beautiful natives, braved the fjords and hiking trails near Stavanger, Norway.

The hike to pulpit rock

We first went to pulpit rock (Preikestolen) which is a mountain face that cantilevers 2000 feet (600 m) above a fjord below.  The path was trapped in a cloud which made the stones mossy and moist for the whole 2 hours hike up.  Near the top, dangling a footfall from death, I was appropriately terrified, however the natives were much more brave and viking women allowed their toddlers to play with dogs right at the edge.  There is a reason that Norway wins so many olympic skiing events, on the off chance they survive their childhood, they have no fear of gravity.

Food for a vegetarian here is somewhat comical.  The Lonely Planet has a section in each of their tour books describing vegetarian options in each country.  Norway was the shortest passage I have ever seen for a country.  Effectively, it said a vegetarian traveler’s only option in Norway is pizza, which is “bland, soggy, and expensive.”  After our hike, I was feeling residual bravery and tried the local pizza, which I'm glad to say soared proudly above my exceedingly paltry expectations for it.

Sitting duck for troll attack!

Liquid courage for the hike down

Terror was my tripod

With regards to the opposite sex ... the natives explained to me that, as a foreigner, I had but a few hours to interact with Nordic people.  In general, the porcerlined skinned will not chat with someone that they did not already know since kindergarten.  However, on the weekend, they will drink like prohibition just ended and will talk to all within stumbling distance.  However, at around 3 hours into binge drinking, they will not remember you or anything you talked about.  As such, you must take full advantage of the “golden hours” between sobriety and blackout with the realistic expectation that the social norm is that everyone will pretend to have never met someone that they talked to at a bar the night before.  The general rule of thumb is that you must have 5 bouts of alcohol poisoning in common before a daytime interaction is attempted.

Armed with this knowledge of the local courtship rituals, we all went to a dance club.  I think we were there for around 4 hours and it seemed to me that the exact same euro dance song was playing the whole time.  The male dancing styles observed could be loosely grouped into 3 categories:  1)  I'm just going to sway around holding my drink, 2) I'm a professional dancer on break looking to blow off steam, and my favorite, 3)  I'm going to pump my fist in the air and pretend to punch holes in the floor violently.  Perhaps to let the women know that they are bad boys and that they don't care about rules, the fist pumping and floor smashing was almost entirely decoupled from the musical beat.  Certain woman meanwhile seemed to delight in ‘whapping’ you with their blonde braided ponytail each time they pivoted.  I was poised to used my 4 swing ‘dance moves’ should a jazz song come up, but that genre never seemed to make the rotation.  After the erasure of frontal lobes, all went off for kebabs, which helped thicken the blood of all that thought eating at 3 AM was a really really good idea.

The following day we went to several of Norway's wonderful white sand beaches and then then did a driving tour of the local fjords.  We planed to visit the beaches for lunch, but barely made it there before sunset :)

Special thanks to Sebastian Fish and Ingrid Elle for showing me their wonderful hamlet.

Next stop, Bergen ….

Kids these days :)

Norway, September, 2016

Greetings from Norway!

I just landed in Scandinavia and learned very much about our blonde friends to the north.  Although, I usually specialize in throwing myself at Eastern European bartendresses, tonight, my first day in was a delirious jet lagged pub-crawl focussed on the unsuspecting Nordic.

It turns out that some Norwegians think that the Swedish are either 'godesses' or 'doormats', the Finnish are all unattractive, and that all northerners besides Norwaegians aren't too bright.  Wow, who knew?  Obviously, the jokes were tongue and cheek, but not 100%.  I look forward to hearing the Swedish perspective :)

OK, time to figure out how to conquer 9 hours of jetlag through pharmaceuticals ...

Ill be in Scandinavia till the 27th, let me know if you are near and can join me :) Tony

Yellowstone. July, 2016

Jørn, his 7 year-old son Simon, and I visited Yellowstone, the world’s first national park, last week for an amazing week of camping.  I’ve never camped in grizzly bear and wolf country before, but armed with pepper-spray, and an understanding that all creatures just need a rub on the belly to calm down, we drove out to some of nature’s most fantastic scenery.

Lower Falls

Yellowstone has more geothermal activity (geysers, volcanic acid pools, etc) than the rest of the entire world combined.  Encompassing 2.2 million acres (9,000 square km), Yellowstone is one of the world’s most beautiful worst kept secrets as it attracts around 50,000 people per day during peak season.

Since we had an intrepid little one in tow, we were focused on the highlights you could access within 5 miles of a parking lot such as the Old Faithful Geyser, waterfalls, and fields where hundreds of buffalo and elk roamed open meadows.  I’ve always wanted to see a wild buffalo in person, and it was a dream come true to have a so many of them walk by us just a few feet away.

The Prismatic Spring

Given the enormity of the park (it covers about 10% of the entire state of Wyoming) it is impossible to visit all the must-see destinations in one visit.  It is amazing there, but unless you go back country, it is by no means intimate.  However, sitting in a traffic jam caused by a herd of majestic buffalo taking their time crossing the road, we all decided the crowds were totally worth it to be able to see vistas and species unique to our small blue marble.

All the while, Simon was obsessed with watching Disney movies on the minivan DVD.  I have now heard Zootopia about 25 times without ever seeing a scene.  If you are on a trivia team and need someone with a command of Officer Hops, and the struggles a female rabbit has joining the interspecies police force, I’m your man!

The Grand Tetons

Lost Coast Trail, 2016

Sunset at our campsite

8 friends, totaling 18 legs, set out on a 4-day trip to perform an arduous, unnecessary, but amazingly beautiful commute along the Lost Coast Trail which is one California’s premier backpacking areas with over 25 miles (40 km) of undeveloped coastal trail in addition to 60 miles (100 km) of steep mountain trails. 

Coastal hikes can only be made at low tide, so you always have to study the tide charts before departing.  It was threatening to storm most of the trip, which meant that some of the mountain river passes could become impassable with the thunderstorms.  The weather gods were kind to us, and it only rained when we were sleeping.  However, just in case it turned into a Donner Party event, I was making all sorts of alliances with my hiking buddies so I was on preferred side of cannibalism.

Perhaps because of the weather forecast, we had much of the park to ourselves.  We did not see a single other hiker for the two days we hiked in the mountain sections.  Our hardest day was Saturday, we started to break camp at 7:30am and did reach our campsite until 8pm where we set up our tents in the twilight then passed out just as the rain hit.

The terrain in the area was incredibly diverse.  One minute you are ensconced in a mossy tree forest soaked by the fog, then 5 minute later you are in the sunshine surrounded by flowers.  I only had my cell phone camera, so I really could not do the park justice … 

Martin, the good natured Pyrenees rescue dog, used his 100 pounds (45 kg) to keep us moving along, but was not above passing out and going into full REM sleep within minutes if we took off our packs for a break.  Andrew made makeshift booties for Martin so his paws were not upbraided by the sandy sections of the trip giving him a great flashdancer look that was a total chick magnet J

We drove back home arriving around 2am Sunday night/Monday morning with an odor I will charitably call ‘manly’.  I’m still sore, but can’t wait to start planning next year’s trip.

We saw several whales breach in this area and the rocks were covered in seals

Making the bend before high-tide

Filtering water, Like a Boss!

#Shattered

I’m thinking about adopting this look year-round

Martin took a tactical nap during a beach hike, so we did shots in his honor

Jennifer Beals eat your heart out!

Dinner planning the night before

Cocktail hour turned soreness into smiles

Strait out of a Lord of the Rings scene

Flowering trees overgrew several miles of the trail, making it beautiful, but impossible to tell where you were going at times

The Ziploc girls had no fear of rain

Tent selfie rocking the eye-shades as a makeshift hat

Our last campsite

Maui, 2016

On Maui, I took several kite-surfing lessons.  Although, to the untrained observer, my kiting lessons looked like someone paying to be water-boarded, it was actually amazing fun.  

You may be asking yourself “Tony, how did you get such an amazing sunset silhouette of you kiting for this post” and the answer is easy … I stole it off google.  Any real photo of me kiting would have my head under water and my legs helplessly flailing above the surface J

On Maui, I spent time in Lahaina, Kehei, Wailea, and Paia.  I was lucky to enjoy the wonderful company of Alexa, Sara, Rich, and Lisa throughout the trip.  We spent most of the time snorkeling, hiking, kiting, snacking, and enjoying jaw dropping sunsets on the beach together.

I’m now back in California and my dog has not left my lap for the last two days.  I’ll be in town for the next few months, message me if you would like to go cycling or hiking while the weather is still wonderful.

Me ke aloha pumehana, Tony